What’s in it for Me? What’s in it for You?
Why did I write Pickleball & The Art of Living? More importantly, why would you read it?
My reasons are straightforward. First, I wanted to see if I could write a book… a comic book, any book. Second, I wanted it to be helpful — to make someone’s life more fulfilling, to provide a friendly nudge in the direction they already know they want to go. Third, I wanted the book to increase the ambient level of kindness and gratitude in the world. Like many, I have been saddened to see the recent erosion of basic decency and compassion for others. I know people with good hearts who have fallen into patterns of tribalism on both sides of the spectrum, losing their compass in the wilderness of a world without facts. So I picked Pickleball as my life metaphor — a game that provides competition, yet more profoundly, offers connection.
Step One is done. I wrote a book. I’m going to take a nap now.
Cabo & me after some strenuous writing and chewing things.
Everything else is up to you.
If my intentions resonate with you, it’s up to you to find something, little or big, in the pages of my book and make it yours. Find what’s been holding you back on the court or in life, see it with eyes wide open and take on the challenge of change. Do it with tenacious, lighthearted, disciplined, joyful energy.
ARE YOU JUST FINE LIKE YOU ARE?
Great! Read the book anyway, have a few laughs and smirk (quietly please, I’m right here...) at the basic stuff you already know. Yes, maybe you could have written this book better but thanks for letting me hack away at it. The whole experience was a learning process for me and definitely saved some wear and tear on my body by limiting my playing time, so at least that’s a small victory.
OR COULD YOU USE A LITTLE TUNE-UP?
If you believe that there is room for more mindfulness, compassion and fulfillment in your life, let’s look at the concept of “goals”.
Do you even have goals?
Quite often we pursue things without explicitly defining them:
“I should volunteer more often.”
“I should lose a few pounds.”
“I should read an awesome book on pickleball and getting the most out of life.”
The result is that we get lost in “should”, meandering toward what we want to achieve, easily distracted and prone to rationalizing our lack of progress. If you want to achieve something meaningful, personally or professionally, here is a complicated high tech solution (or not) that gives you the best chance to succeed.
Make a detailed plan.
Write it down.
Show it to someone.
Follow the plan.
That’s it. No “life hacks”, life coaches or life-changing high cost seminars required. To be sure, there are times when we need help from others, but it’s best to do the deep digging on your own first. When this deeper work comes from within, it lodges more firmly in your heart and soul. Writing it down makes it real, not just a passing thought that can get lost in the shuffle. Showing your intentions to someone you trust provides a witness and an external conscience to your quest. A plan is your guide — not imposed by a stranger — but by that special someone in the mirror who knows you quite well.
Only when you create a dynamic, tangible vision can outside elements stoke the fire that burns within you.
Even if your fire is only an old Bic Lighter in the back of your kitchen drawer that’s low on fuel, you can turn it up a notch and make some small change that keeps you engaged and moving in the right direction. Incremental changes can spark little jolts of accomplishment. Learning something new, texting a friend you haven’t heard from in a while, swapping out your breakfast of Lucky Charms and a cheese danish for oatmeal and a protein smoothie — it feels good to proactively nudge your life in satisfying directions.
CHANGING YOUR GAME
Pickleball is a great laboratory for cultivating positive change. Think of someone who has a go-to shot that you admire. Is it a backhand snap to the body, a sharply angled forehand dink or a flatter third shot drop? Most players I know are happy to share their favorite shots — and a good coach can analyze your style of play and suggest techniques that can jumpstart your game.
There’s nothing wrong with cruising along and enjoying the game, but it’s intriguing to experiment and see what’s possible — just as in other aspects of your life. This growth mindset doesn’t only apply to physical skills, it can be even more meaningful to experiment with your psychological outlook. Can you hone your positivity, equanimity and tolerance? Specifically, can you let a close line call go and move on? Can you deal with an accidental shot hit at your face without assessing blame? Can you support your partner more consistently, not only outwardly but in your inner dialogue? Can you make your “self-talk” more positive?
When you make progress on these fronts, there is a direct impact on your off court interactions and state of mind. You begin to realize more fully that most things you react strongly to in life aren’t so serious either.
This is what’s in it for you — becoming the conscious architect of your life. As I say in Pickleball & The Art of Living… Available NOW on Amazon and other fine booksellers! Makes a great gift! … um, where was I?
Oh yeah... until we become conscious, all we are doing is acting out our conditioning. When you break free of the mindless momentum in your life, it is liberating to recreate yourself mindfully.
Maybe it’s hard to believe that any game can teach us important life lessons. But that’s the magic of sports — they reveal character. Ask any golfer or team sports athlete: Can you tell a lot about people from the way they play, their interactions with others and how they handle adversity? Absolutely. Sports also teaches us how to keep improving or get left behind. You don’t have to be the best but when you put in the work, regret fades away in your rearview mirror.
Rise to the challenge of change. Assess yourself, make a plan and enjoy the journey. Live with awareness and gratitude. Open the gift of life and play with it.